Nude Heels

I don't remember when I realized nude heels were God's perfect shoe, but I'm pretty goddamn glad that I did.  Nude heels elongate the leg while assisting in somehow making legs look skinnier.  They also don't break the visual "line" of the leg which is important.

The tricky thing with nudes is to get the tone right.  Some nudes are more mocha; some are too pale; some are almost mauve.  The best color nude for most people is a "pale tan". Yes it's a fucking contradiction, deal with it.  Here's a picture of my mug to show you what I'm talking about:

I'm obv on the right. See how these heels are sort of brownish but pale?  This is a good shade of nude for the average person.

Image via my awesome ass blog FOX OF THE YEAR

And now a similar shade on me when I'm a thousand times tanner:

Man, I miss being tan.

Anyway, you get the point. Some types of nudes to avoid:

Jesus FUCK I am tired of this shoe!!! It's bad enough without the hideous platform on it, which seems to be all the rage right now. Steer clear of these shoes, ladies. Unless you're into looking like a Forever 21 version of Kim Kardashian.

Mmkay, this is too BROWN. Even on brown toned skin, you want to go with a slightly pinker, paler nude. Unless you like giving your skin a "poopy" glow.

Stop it with these red soles, chicks. Even if you're wearing real Louboutins, red soles on NUDE shoes look tacky. Remember how the art of the nude shoe is NOT BREAKING THE VISUAL LINE? You don't want to do it from the back, either!  For most of you, the back angle is better than the front, so don't ruin it.

Here are some of my favorite nude heels, for Ingrid and Kara. <3

Report Signature, $194.50 at Endless 

I have these in the copper color so I'm partial to them...plus, they fit like a DREAM!!! Endless is a great store, but I found my pair on eBay and I've also seen them on Ideeli.com for about $80 bucks. NEVER PAY RETAIL, LADIES.

DKNY Elyard Mule, $245 at Endless

A mule can almost ONLY be pulled off in nude, in my opinion.  Unless you like looking like a milkmaid or a chick from the 90's at a grunge show trying to be classy avoiding boots.

Loeffler Randall Paige Sandal, $550 at Endless

This could possibly be the world's PERFECT NUDE SHOE.  It's the perfect shades and has see through panels!!! Hello!!! This is magical!

My first pair of nude heels was from Victoria's Secret, so I'm partial to their line of shoes.  Plus, if they're Colin Stuarts, they won't make you go bankrupt just trying to look flossy.

Colin Stuart Cut-out Bootie, $85

VERY seriously considering buying these...even in YELLOW.

Colin Stuart Open-toe Bootie, $109

Okay, $109 for VS is some WTF shit, but hot damn do I love these!!!! Tassels, almost Cuban heels and open toes? Say YES.

And my final and actual best suggestion for nude heels is eBay.  eBay's shoe selection is INSANE!!! Just search "nude heels" and enter your size and see what comes up.

xx